Current job vs. Further studies (Career advancement)

Wow...It's been weeks since I last blogged! Sorry for my absence as I was away on a business trip. Anyway, I received a call from a close friend recently. It must have been very stressful and confusing to be torn between the choice to stay on with your current job or to pursue Masters for future career advancement.

Over the hour long phone conversation, she told me she has not been very satisfied or even happy with her current job. Yes, you read it right! It was just a job to her, not a career anymore. All the while, she had in mind to further studies...but her concerns are when and how? Similar to most of our concerns, she was in doubts as to when is the right time to go ahead with this option and how she can afford this option. Another concern was, is it a right decision to let go of her stable job for an uncertain life of 1-2 years when she pursues Masters?

Here's what I have to say/advice for her:

When you feel less passionate about your current job, or when you start to feel as though you're working for the sake of working and not as a career, perhaps it's time to move ahead with other options. I'm not advising my friend to totally let go of everything (of course she has to consider lots of factors before deciding!) but the thing is, when you no longer have the mood to continue with what you've been doing, you might be screwing up your own performance at work.

So, my advice is...think carefully of what you really want. If this is your dream job, you should think of a way to improve yourself instead. If you find this job getting more and more boring, perhaps it's really time to choose a different path. Once the passion is gone, it is really difficult to force yourself to love something anymore. Think about it...

I left my friend with more questions in brain. I told her to think of all the options she has before we talk about which option to choose. So, we'll be right back. Stay tuned for her decision...and maybe it could be your decision too if you're just like her - stuck between the idea of continuing your current (boring?) job or pursuing career advancement through furthering studies.

I hate pimples!

Hello PW,

I'm Sue and I'm 18 years old this year. I was blog hopping from one to another until I stumbled upon yours. So, I thought maybe I could ask for your opinion.

Ever since I reached puberty, I've been struggling with sensitive skin. I used to have lots of acnes and my skin is always oily. Now that I'm older, I am still having frequent breakouts (albeit lesser!) and my skin is still very sensitive.

Over the years, I've tried all sorts of skin care products but to no avail. I've even tried going for facials but my condition worsens. What should I do?

Regards,
Sue


Dear Sue,

Thank you for dropping me an email after visiting this blog. Your email has actually reminded me of my own problem when I was about your age. I did try many different products and also went for facials but nothing worked. I did many self-experiments and I finally managed to control my skin condition. Even though I still get occasional breakouts, I'm happy that I have gained back my self-confidence and I now dare to look at myself in the mirror.

Anyway, maybe you can consider the following ideas:
1) Make an appointment with a gynecologist and get yourself checked. Most acne problems are due to hormonal imbalance. Talk to your doctor about your bad skin condition and ask whether it is ideal to try mild contraceptive pills such as Diane-35 and Mercilon. I took Diane-35 for about 2 years when I was about 17 years old and it worked. However, please take note that some people might be sensitive to such pills. Please get your doctor's advice before you try it!

2) To prevent or lessen inflamed skin, try putting thin slices of cucumber on your face on a daily basis, or at least a few times in a week. It helps to cool down your face and reduce stress to the skin from external factors.

3) Consider using facial scrub at least once a week, followed by a mask. It is recommended that you use clay mask as it helps to absorb facial oil and prevent breakouts. Other than that, mask also helps to reduce blemishes caused by acnes.

4) Use only non-comedogenic cosmetic / make-up products.

5) There should be no direct contact between your hands / fingers to your face. In other words, it is advisable that you let go the habit of resting your arms on the table with your palm supporting your chin. This could encourage unwanted breakouts around the chin area. In short, your hands should not touch any part of your face at any time of the day, except when you wash your face.

6) Drink adequate water, get enough sleep and if possible, exercise.

7) Never skip the common facial regime: Cleanse, Tone and Moisturize.

8) Control food intake. Try to cut down on greasy food.


I have listed some of the ways that you may try to improve your skin condition. I hope they help. Hope your skin condition improves. :)

Take care.

Regards,
Psychologist Wannabe

When your brain goes blank...

Hello PW,

I feel so down suddenly. This could be due to the stress at work. What can I do to boost my mood/motivation?

Regards,
Pinky


Dear Pinky,

Even though you only typed 3 lines, I could feel that you're really out of mood. You did not mention further on what happened. So maybe, I'll just try to give a few suggestions and talk generally on what you should do.

Whatever happened to you at your workplace, take it as the daily challenge. Have you ever asked yourself one thing...Why is it that the big boss is never tired and he/she is always like the father/mother of the organization, taking care of all the "kids"? Well, when we're unhappy at work, we often think of negative things and might even opt to quit/change job. But, why is it that the big boss never quits? Try to think of your situation from a different perspective. You might get the answer.

Anyway, since you didn't provide much info, I'll just stop here for now. Do drop by again if you need someone to talk to. I'll try my best to help. Here are some of the things you can do to lift your mood/motivation:

1) Listen to inspirational songs (You might want to try instrumental type or even gospel music)
2) Exercise (Increased blood circulation helps to cure moodiness)
3) Sing out loud (Singing helps to lift up one's mood)
4) Talk to someone you trust/ understands you.

Take care.

Regards,
PW

Losing a wallet

Hello PW,

I'm very sad and at the same time frustrated because I lost my wallet this afternoon. I had RM500, a credit card and ATM cards inside. The most important is my Identification Card. What should I do? I have already lodged a police report.

I really don't understand why this happened to me. Is it pure bad luck or is this fated? Please help.

From,
B


Hello B,

Sorry for what has happened to you. I understand how it feels, especially the hassle you have to go through. But, why keep thinking about something that has already happened? You obviously can't turn back time. If you keep feeling bad or down, you will only make your loved ones or friends worried about you. All you can do is to keep calm and think of the positive side instead.

You asked whether it was just pure bad luck or it is fated. My answer is neither.

I always believe that everything happens for a reason. Whatever the reason may be, try to think of this: "Were you not careful enough until you lost your wallet?" So, the simple yet painful lesson learned is, you will be more careful next time. You won't place so much cash in your wallet anymore. Another thing is, did you realize that your loved ones/friends were so worried when you lost your wallet? So, this is another perspective you should consider thinking. Something bad happened to you, but it has changed your mindset and made you appreciate those who truly care for you.

Again, I'm sorry for the bad news. I hope you do feel better after reading this. Take care...

Regards,
PW

When your ex still haunts you...

Shelly was weeping when she confided in me about her so-called ex. Their one-year relationship has already ended months ago, but it was too difficult for her to let him go. So, she was literally still clinging onto him even though the status of their relationship has been changed to "friends only".


Here's an excerpt of our conversation:

S : I really hate myself. The more I want to forget, the more I want him back.

PW: You've already ended the relationship. So you have to control yourself. Why must you keep in touch with him and allow yourself to go back to him? What is over, is over.

S : ...but I really love him.

PW: Does he love you? I bet you know the answer better.

S : *Silence*

PW: If a man loves you, he wouldn't be sleeping with another woman when you're not around. Wake up, my dear. The bad news is, he could have been interested in your body only, not you.

S : ...but that bitch stole my man. I want him back. I will do anything to get him back.

PW: Listen, my dear. Revenge will not solve the whole issue. People say, "it takes two to tango". So, if he had not responded to the other woman's 'actions', they wouldn't be together today.

S : ...but I know I can win him back...

PW: How? By offering yourself to him again?

S : *Silence*

PW: Don't be silly, Shelly. When you love someone, you don't need to "sell" your body to get him. You are just degrading your own self and it is obvious that he's only using you.

S : ...but what about the gifts he bought? That shows he still cares.

PW: What's with the gifts? Some guys will do anything to get what they want. How can you say he still cares when he was no where to be found when you were sick?

I left Shelly a message a few hours after our conversation...

"To get what you want in life, you first have to make room. And that means letting go of the things you don't want, even though you may have invested a lot of time and money in them along the way. While this is often difficult, the benefits will make it well worth the effort."

Introduction

Hello there....

As this is the first post for this blog, I shall make a short introduction on what this space is all about and who I am.

I'm just another fellow blogger who can't live without the internet connection. I express better in words. So, here I am....blogging and hopefully, you're reading.

So, why is this space named "Heart-to-heart talk"? I've personally come across a lot of people, friends or acquaintances with different mindsets and characters. As we all know, we're all born different and special in many different ways. Thus, this blog is specially dedicated to talk/discuss about the many issues we face in our everyday lives.

You are welcome to send in your queries or problems and I will do some research and blog the answers or suggestions out. Your queries can be on anything, any topic. You get the idea. You may see below for some of the examples of the topics to be discussed here.

1) How do I know if he's worth my time?
2) Is she interested?
3) Should I continue with my work?
4) I have lost my motivation. What should I do?

Oh by the way, I forgot to mention something. I am a self-proclaimed psychologist. I have always been interested in helping my friends in dealing with trivial issues (Erm, you might be thinking that I am very kaypo but they made me their consultant!). So, I was thinking maybe I could share my two cents with everyone here. Anyway, there's disclaimer in this blog. Please do think carefully before you proceed with any of my suggestions. The owner of this blog shall not be liable for any hurt/injuries/broken hearts, etc. pertaining to the discussed topics.

So, that's all from me now. Hope you'll be here again once the topics start. See you!